A question that is often posed to me.
I was having dinner with a good friend and her boyfriend the other day and he asked me the same question.
Him:"You mean you still wanna go back to Japan?"
Me: "Yup, I am thinking of that now."
Him: " Wah.. you mean you like Japan so much? What about it do you like?"
Can anyone identify with that? Anyone who has been to a country or has lived somewhere before finds it so attractive that you want to make it your dwelling place?
I often tell people oh, I like the lifestyle, I like the food, the fashion etc... but really... liking something is more than that.
Let' start by comparing this to an encounter with a person.
Recall the first time you meet someone. What kind of feelings or emotions do you have? How does it come about? Feelings towards a person on a first meeting usually depends a lot on what you might have heard or known about the person and then the first impression which comes from the person's appearance right?
But then, as we all know the truth, the real person that lies beneath the glamourous veneer or mismatch outfits is often not understood correctly until we get to know the person on a deeper level. After all, how can mere clothes explain the complexities of a person's character?
Life is very much a love and hate affair. When we get to know a person better and more, we either begin to like this person better or the other way round.
Then think deeper, for those who are attached or married.(deeply in love) Isn't it the same with your better half? The more you get to know this person, the more you are attracted to him or her. But then you probably can't really put your finger to what you like best about the person. It could be a mixture of virtues the person possess, the level of communication only you and the person share. It all comes about after a significant amount of time spent with the person follwed by a gradual growth of comfort the lies in the being in the presence of the person.
Ok, after the above said. I would liken my relationship with Japan to that.
Spending almost 2 years in Japan, contrary to popular beliefs that I only play there ( grr...), I have known the country from just a place that outrageous fashion is tolerated, produces mind-blowing gadgets... to identify it as a place I know as a 2nd home. Yes, it was home to me in the 2 years I was there. I started out by holding a identify card that allows me to enter Japan from the citizens and PR row at the customs, surveying the prices of the different supermarkets, paying my electricity bills to knowing the Japanese there as my neighbours, becoming part of the community by teaching the kids English and saying hi and chatting casually to the shop-keepers to shops I frequent.
My point: This relationship is not that of a tourist pass that ends casually after a 10 days holiday fling. Japan has become, was shelter to me for a very signicant part of my life. These 2 years, the people I met, things I seen has very much impacted and shaped me. I would say sometimes even more than what my 20 yrs in Singapore has done. When one always stays in the same place, I believe no changes can take place. But of course, each of us has our own destiny and not every includes a change of place. Just like someone who has stayed in the "East" ( ie, Bedok, East Coast) will always want to stay there. But then after they reluctantly move to the West ( ie, Jurong, Boon Lay), they might not find it so bad after all.
In a nutshell, for people who might ask me again what about Japan do I like. I think the question does not stem from a like or dislike for it. It is simply the growing into it and then evolving from it. What makes you part of something cannot by simply generalised by the similarities you share with the group by how much you can identify with it and how much you grow heathily just by being in it.
