Loneliness~~

The sermon in church today was about dealing with loneliness and the pastor's wife shared a story with us.

Loneliness is something each of us would probably experience often... if not at least once in a lifetime. It is not just plainly about the absence of people in our lives. It is in fact the presence of people but the lack of meaningful relationships that brings about loneliness and solitude. Someone once told me, being alone is not equals to being lonely. How true the vice versa too.

So anyway, she (Noriko) spoke at how she marvels when she sees our pastor(Talo). He doesn't seems to have any lack of friends, not alone attention from ladies! She felt that Talo is a person who probably doesn't experience any loneliness....

Then Noriko recalls how Talo has a friend in US whom he will always contact through the phone or Skype. This very same friend has NEVER ever took the initiative to call Talo before. In addition to that, he is always talking about himself during the conversation, what he has done or achieved, what he is going to do.... it was all a me , myself and I conversation.
Everytime they go back to US (Talo's from Hawaii), they will meet up and the friend has never offered to pay before. He would always expect Talo and Noriko to foot the bill.

In the midst of all this, she was just thinking to herself, how come Talo still wants to continue this friendship... and one day, she felt God speaking to her. " That is because, Talo doesn't sees things the way you do." ( I add or as many of us do)

When we do something for someone, though we do not expect 100% back in return, I think most of us expects at least 70% back... If I write a letter to her, I expect at least a card back, If I give her a treat at Crystal Jade, I expect at least a Mcdonald's back... ( ok no relations I know)....
But some many times, in the midst of giving, we become tired because we also subconsicously expecting something which unfortunately never comes back or comes back in a idea totally different from what we have expected. I have seen plenty of people on TV dramas and in reality alike who just exhaust themselves out mentally and emotionally because they don't reap the same amount of harvest they had supposedly sowed in the first place.
Of course it is human some might say that we all expect something back...
It is only polite, it is only nice to do so....
But my take is if you cannot give just for the sake of giving to this person unconditionally, just giving because you want to bless this person wholeheartedly, then perhaps it is not wise for you to give as well. The reason why Talo didn't feel the loneliness nor taken for granted because his main agenda was on giving and how he can try to do one more thing for the person. And it was just as simple as that, a condition of his heart.

I think I am guilty of that too. I often wish I could be treated better by some friends. Could receive more sms or phonecalls on my birthday, wish my friends can shower more attention on me etc.... I am weak and also lonely at times. But then today's sermon taught me that the way to overcome it is not ask for more but to change my mindset and learn to give more. It is also important too to keep seeking from the source, which is God.