The first time I felt Tokyo is small.

It is not unusual to bump into not 1 but a few acquaintances, friends, or even famous people on the streets of Singapore.

It is also almost predictable or I would say a pretty easy feat to be able to find a link to someone you might have met for the first time. The person could easily be a friend of your cousin, a senior from your school, the sister-in-law of the colleague sitting beside you...
Just like the top 5 accounting firms in Singapore is filled up with graduates from NTU, 90% of the doctors making their rounds in Singapore's government hospitals are probably your NUS med grads too.

Well, it is not anything to be surprise about considering most of us are born, schooled, worked and socialised in the same 700km square for our entire lives.

I remember when I first came to Tokyo, I was just so overwhelmed by sea of unfamilar faces. There were times days gone by ( long weekends especially) when I realised at the end of it, I have not opened my mouth to talk to anyone for the entire 3 whole days. Tokyo is just so wide and confusing. The vast endless train lines just see so many people coming and going in and out of Tokyo daily.

In my 2 years here, I have also met so many people who come in and go out of my lives. Mostly introduced by friends over parties etc... and really... though I socialised with utmost sincerity, I know that most of the time they are also people I will never meet again. Twice.
The truth is, most of us ( or actually 99.0% of the Japanese people) whether or not with the intention of meeting someone again will say " see you again!" just to be polite (or as a form of greeting) and probably not contact the person again until there is a need to.

Same goes to the group of people I met 2 weeks ago when my friend's friend came over for a visit in Tokyo.

In fact, if not for my friend, I would not have met this friend.

If not for this friend, I would not have met her group of friends here too.

But then today when I went to church, just as I was settling down in my seat, I caught a familar face in front of me.

I was almost too surprised that it took me a moment to realised I was looking at the same lady whom I met through my friend's friend 2 weeks ago.

This lady almost became someone whom I thought I will never meet again.

She was also very surprised to see me. Her fiance too.

We chatted again after service and we realised that we have been attending the church for about the same period of time and is always sitting in the same area too.

It just dawned upon me how wonderful this kind of meetings can be. If not for that simple act of hosting my friend's friend, this lady will probably still remain a stranger to me till today. We could be sitting next to each other for the rest of our lives in the same church but never ever have the reason to talk to each other.

On the side note... I finally signed up for DCAT seminar. ( = Doing Church as a Team). I want to go the beach camp in Aug too but can't take leave now le... So sad!! I want to go to the beach and play soon! It's summer!

The rainy season is officially over..

The rainy season is officially over..
So it is also officially summer in Japan now.
As the skies cleared up to welcome the warm ( actually hot and humid) weather.... I feel more refreshed to a certain extent as well.
I really hate to live in an area which rains non-stop!

The picture on the left is the teru-teru bozu. Japanese children hang it up during the rainy season to pray for good weather. This is especially used on days where they have some event like Sports day or some festival...

So now summer is officially here. It is time to make plans!
So far I have plans to go to the biggest fireworks festival in Tokyo, visit sunflower fields, visit lavender fields. Also thinking about the church camp which is by the seaside... only problem is, I have to take 2 days leave to attend it..

Anyway... it was so hot yesterday that our CEO decided to treat everyone to ice-cream! It is the first time I ever ate ice-cream in office during office hours! ( our ex CEO disallowed that) it was really interesting to see everyone getting excited and licking on the ice-creams like a little kid! It was such a simple gesture on the CEO's part but I think it does wonders to boost our energy~~
SO here's a photo taken with the people sitting around me.

My new creation!

Since I had some time in the evening yesterday, I decided to continue my artwork creation.
I used extra buttons and beads which came with clothes I bought.
So, cost of the final work = $0!!

well well.... since this is made from odd and ends of extra materials I had, can't complain much about the final result.

But still I am pretty please with how supposedly trash-to-be can be converted into useful stuff!

The corsage on its own

A plain white singlet

With the corsage!

On a cap

On a bag!

Akanishi Jin Lookalike~~

When I first saw him, I thought he really looked like Akanishi Jin!
I don't have a good photo of him to prove my point... But he confirmed with me that he is often said to look like Akanishi Jin too...

Akanishi Jin = top member in KAT-TUN, from Johnny's entertainment. You'll see him in gokuzen 2005...
here's akanishi jin

HIm.... well well... still a cutie anyway! heee

So anyway we had him for nearly the whole of saturday from 7am onwards to have sushi for breakfast, taking neo prints, playing gundam stimulator in which you are seated in the cockpit and fighting with other team mates against another team. ( this is super cool!! gundam fans must try!) We only had dinner at 10pm, went to Mori Tower in Roppongi for a fantastic night view. Home at 1am.

deadbeat.

Japanese Magazines

One thing I love about Japanese magazines is, they love to include freebies with them!
It is not the usual free shampoo samples nor sweets, but really useful things you can use! They include things like tote bags, umbrellas, slippers and even ladies boxers!

And the best thing of all, they are from reputable designer brands.

From Jill Stuart, a cute apple tote. ( Front)

Back

Tsumori Chisato. Famous for her quirky, fancy designs~~

Cher. A brand very popular among young ladies here. A typical camisole costs around $80 there and a dress can be well over $300. One thing to mention about its shopping bag, you can only purchase it alongside other purchases from that shop. It is big enough to put in A4 size stuff so it can act as a bag on its own to go out with!

My trusty lunchbox bag! just the right size for a lunchbox and a fruit!

LeSports Sac 35th anniversary souvenir. A passport, notes cum card holder. Very useful when travelling! It comes with strap which you can strap over your shoulders or around the waist.

ML bought like 2 when she was here cus she likes it so much!

ML!! see all the nice and freebies from the magazines!! tempted???

Do I resemble her really?

My friend sent me a picture that day and she says that I look exactly like her　↓.
When my friend asked me if I think so too... I was stumped for a moment...

Not because I was shocked or anything...

But..

I was trying hard to recall how I looked like!

This made me ponder for a while how it reflects our own lives...

Though our face belongs to ourselves, we are not the ones who look at it the longest. It is the people around us.

These people are also the ones who can point out to us our blindspots, remind us of things we do not remember or even highlight things we have missed.

In the same way, whatever expression we carry on our faces, (happy or black), it is not us who have to bear with it. It is the people who have to face us everyday who are affected the most.

So for these precious people who sticks with us regardless the kind of faces ( or expressions) we have, let's do them a favour by smiling more and sulking less! Let's do ourselves a favour too because smilling is a great way to loose calories!!

Btw....

This is how I look from behind. I was shocked to see this too because I never knew my hair was that curly!

Blogging at 1.43am in the morning.

I slept only 2 hours too last night because I was out till midnight with a friend visting and this morning, we woke up at wee hours in the morning. 5XXam to catch the fresh early sushi at tsukiji market.

She is "my friend's" '(grins) friend actually and I have only met her for the first time yesterday.

The 2 days out with her and her group of Japanese colleagues led me to actually ponder on a lot of issues about myself in Japan and the current situation I am in. The issues are too personal so I won't be elaborating anything here.

Though it was fun to be out re-discovering Tokyo, I must admit it is really tiring to be up for 20 hours straight, and with a group of perfect strangers. I am not exactly an extrovert so it takes me to warm up ( pretty fast) and open ( very hard to people)...

At one stage, I was pretty zombified actually because I had to act as an translator for her and her colleague as well.

Then I received an sms from a friend who told me to read a verse from the Bible, Romans 12:12 because she said that as she was reading it, I kept popping up in her mind.

It says: " Be joyful because you have hope. Be patient when trouble comes."
Can't say how much it spoke to me about my current situation.

And it goes on in verse 13. "Share with God's people who need help. Bring strangers in need into your home."

Woohh... it speaks perfectly well to what I did.. bringing a perfect stranger into my home.
SO thank God for His timely assurance which brings comfort and an answer to myself too as to which I offered that friend's friend a roof~~

Last day before monday comes again!

In retrospect...

Thanks for the many comments and emails!



Woh.. I was quite surprised and shocked myself by the no. of emails I got after yesterday's post.
I have must gotten many people worried. Thanks for showing concern and care anyway!


After yesterday's written puke on blog... I feel well a little better today.
Nope the situation hasn't change. Nor has the girl changed better overnight.
She is still as ditzy as ever.

What has changed in my mindset to a certain degree.

I don't know how many of you other there think the same way. Sometimes we just think that the company cannot survive without us. If I am on leave, I will be still thinking of what will go on in the company, paying 100% attention to my phone 24 hours a day, checking emails to make sure everything goes well...

But the truth is... as my cousin kindly reminded me. No one is ( or should be) indispensible to the company. My ex-supervisor told me exactly the same thing when I was pondering if I should take a day off one day. He told me that if something really happened in my absence and it could not be handled because I wasn't there, it is not my fault but a flaw in the management.
I was very greatly for this very comment of his because he was the one most affected in my absence actually as he had to cover my work too.

And of course... that I am mere mortal.

No matter how much work my boss is going to dump on me, if my physical and mental health is not going to withstand, then it is just too bad. Nothing personal.
Same goes for the girl.

So today, I came to work more relaxed than I was yesterday. Shall just let my body do the leading. If I can handle I will.. If I cannot then I won't.
Nothing personal ( twice said!)

And of course.. Leave the rest to God. He says in His word that " My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness."

Brings me back to last week' sermon in which the pastor said. When challenges in life, before we start to complain, let's ask God first what is that He wants to teach.

And last but not least, TGIF!!!

How much more??

More " complaints" on work.

I have not really worked with any friends I know before except for some short stints, so no one really know the real me at me.

I am quiet. ( yes... don't be so surprised). I joke and talk at times yes.. but hardly ever being the one to start the ball rolling.

I keep to myself mostly. I refrain from discussing private details ( unless being pryed into)

I never gossip nor badmouth any colleague to another colleague. ( that's that I complained like mad to my friends!)

I hardly say No to any task given to me. nor complain to my boss about my workload.

see.. I'm the perfect little angel.. ( hiakk)

That's why both of my former working partners , also my direct supervisors ( both outsourced to different sites) told my present direct boss on separately occassions that I am not the type to voice out my difficulties so he mustn't take me for granted.

My direct boss is a good person and I know that he is trying his best and he is already like up till his neck. So most of the time.. ( in fact all of the time), I find it impossible to complain directly to him. Everytime he talks to me, I just find myself saying ok.... I will just press on more. I must not bring more troubles to him who is already so busy...
so in the end the case is forever unresolved.

Recently however, it has gotten worst with increased workload ( that's ok) but he not informing me in advance! ( that's rude)
not to mention the new girl whom I have to treat like a primary school kid. My friend told me that I have to go down to her level and teach her in ways she can absorb.
To me it is equals to teaching a primary school kid. As a responsible working adult, she should be the one to find ways to learn!

I feel that I am also loosing myself.. ( or discovering a new me) I never really remembered ever so pissed and angry at someone all the time. I don't even feel like having a normal conversation with her...

I remember this line in Inuyasha comic where one of the characters say :"私が私じゃなくなります”
Which rougly translates to I will not be me anymore...

I feel the same somehow.. like I am evolving into someone whom I don't really recognised anymore...

I am lost too between these questions,

Am I not doing enough?
Do I have more room for improvement?
Do I have to work even harder?
Am I am not suitable for the job?
or it is time to feedback to my boss directly?

But unfortunately... no one can answer me now I guess except God.

Yes... seek Ye first the Kingdom of God.

Need to pray and ask and SEEK!!

Btw... I just deleted a mail written this morning intending to tell my boss that are too many grey areas and things at work I find it hard to handle.

sighzzz

What does it take to produce an ace student?

Is it never dying patience?

Is it endless drills?

Is it passion?

Is it skills?

Or actually does it depend on the student actually?

How come she always makes the same old mistakes? How come she can never prove to me that I can trust her? How come I always have to clean up her mess after her? How come I always have to entertain her probing into my private? Why do I have to OT because of her? How come?? How come??

God... do you really have to give me such challenges to train my patience?
I am beginning to dread work now because of her.
I am aging at such a rapid speed because of the emotional stress....

Ahh... save me..
I am really exhausted...