6.28.2007

The horrifying discovery, The overwhelming assurance...

Job is really tough and I am really going through an emotional roller-coaster at work. But I still thank God for the opportunity to learn, to trust and lean on Him so that my faith can grow and also how He has so wonderfully orchestrated events to happen in my life.

Another among the other wonderful things He has done, just want to share this testimony today.

The door to my house does not come with a key. It works on a password basis.
And for 4 months that I have been here, it seems like something was wrong with the door.
I could never open it on the first try, always on the second try. Only on days when I was "lucky" (unexplainable situations) was I able to do it on the first try.
I was contemplating going to the shop I rented my apartment from to complain that there was something wrong with my door. The only thing that held me back was plain laziness… the hassle of going back to the shop just to say this. So I lived with the situation for 4 months..
Until Esther came yesterday...

As I had to leave home early for work, I taught Esther the way to "locked" the door, shut the gate etc…
Anyway, work yesterday was pretty terrible… I was talking to a customer on the phone and he completely didn't know what I was saying that half way through he started speaking to me in English instead. He was very nice though, he didn't flare up at all… He didn't show the slightest hint of being irritated. But I felt like totally defeated. I have been in Japan for 2.5 years, 4 months in the company and still I can't do such a simple job.
I was questioning God with so much confusion and frustration. Asking him to show me why He had put me in this position, what can I do to overcome the language barrier… I even begin to question if I have "heard" wrongly about His plans for me… In fact, I have been asking myself a lot? Why did the boss decide to employ me? Why did he bother to go through all the trouble to apply a visa for me. I am not using much English at work so he could have just employed a Japanese…

And so I went home with a heavy heart.

Came to my door and as usual entered the password.
And to my surprised, it opened on the first try. I opened the door and told Esther,
"Hey today's my lucky day, the door opened on the first try."
Esther was like " oh haa… anyway, about locking the door, either you did tell me and I forgot about it or you forgot to tell me, there should be one more step after entering the password word right?"
I didn't digest that statement when she first said it. And she said it so casually…
Me: "Wait a min… what do you mean by there is one more extra step?"
Esther: "oh, I guess you did mention to me but I forgot about it. I was trying to lock the door this morning and I realized I couldn't. Then finally on the 3rd try, I realized, after entering the password, I need to turn the handle down once to lock it".

Esther mentioned to me later how shocked I looked.

I was totally horrified to know that only after 4 months. Suddenly, it came to light why I could only open the door on the 2nd try.
Everytime when I go home to try to open the door, the action of holding down the handle locked it and that's why I could only open it at the 2nd attempt.
The thought of me leaving my door unlocked everyday while I am at work totally shocked me.
And to add on to this, my neighbour doesn't have the habit of closing the main gate properly (and I am not better not locking my own door)

In the peak of the state of confusion, Esther exclaimed, "Wow you are so blessed! For 4 months God protected you!

Yes, He did. I can't imagine what will happen if God had not protected such a careless me. And to add on to this, I was having lunch with my colleague on the same day and somehow we came to the topic of rings and she told me the story of how burglars entered her friend's house stealing away everything. And it happened to them 3 times in the same year!

And I thought how timely the reminder came… It could have 2 months ago when my friend came to stay over. A week ago when my friends came from Singapore to stay over… both times they left the house themselves too but none of them were alerted.

It came at such a time where I needed assurance to know I am safe in His hands. It came not one day early nor late… just on time. Indeed, God makes everything beautiful in His time. Although I shudder at the thought of that, the joy and peace of coming to realization that God is in control overwhelms all fear inside me. Of cus, it taught me to be more careful too… But I felt so refreshed today though I only had less than 4 hours of sleep cus Esther and I chatted till 3+ in the morning… It is spiritual freshness which also calms the physical mind. And somehow today, I found the courage to go to work and to continue the challenge again.

So, be assured we are all safe in His arms.

6.20.2007

The Letter!

I received a letter from Mr O.W.H today!!
My dear dear friend whom I miss so much.\(*^ワ^*)/

His letters are always so sloppy, messy. He talks as if we just met yesterday about his job, the things he saw, the fact he is drinking his beer and writing to me.
His honey-words how much he is also missing me and thinking of me.
haaa.... I believe in him though cus he is very capable of thinking of many girls at the same time.

happy happy.. I am glad Owen is still Owen...
I can feel him in the letters.
I am so glad he is still his old genki self (^O^)

6.19.2007

Our conversation

My mum called me yesterday and it was a rare day that everyone was at home.
FYI: My mum works in Japanese restaurant thus irregular hours, my brother's jobs takes him to all parts of the world and each stay in a different country can be from a month to 3.

My mum and I: We talk about everything under the sun. In fact, it was almost as if we were sitting on the sofa just chatting. She tells me about who she met, her facial trips, what to cook...talk about God, talk about praying, talk about work.

For some reason, either, my mum monopolises the phone or my dad is too shy to talk to me.. haha my mum is always the one who does the calling. She will then tell me that my dad misses me a lot cus he is always nagging at her to call. Then both of us wonders why he can't do it himself.... My mum says it is because he doesn't know how to.. haha . There was once I called home and my dad was like, " oh your mum is coming home soon and I will get her to call you ok? and he cuts the phone... strange.

My brother and I: We always talk crap... or about buying things. Haha he is always asking me about the latest gadget in Japan, the price etc... sometimes we play online games on msn too. Our conversation yesterday went like this:
Me: Hey you going Russia for work this week right. Remember to buy souvenirs for me hor..
No magnets or keychains ( meaning want something bigger and more significant
Without a moment of hesistant, my brother answered casually:
"oh Ok can, means bookmark loh"
X$#%OX#$!!!#"$
Then he ended the conversation by this, " Got anyone bully you or not? I don't think have right, you don't go bully others ok"
X#$!!$#OX##$

My dad and I: I called him again today. Kinda deliberately called when my mum is not around so he has to talk to me. But well, I did most of the talking though. Shared with him my conversation with another Singaporean friend, Esther who is also studying in Okazaki ( where I used to study. Yes, i must share what I talked to Esther in another blog soon!
So he listened, asked me if I am doing ok... and well he always ask this same question tho.
"Money enough?"
Haha... my dad indeed.
He never ever failed to ask this question. I told him I have more than enough because I don't have time to play. But we all know, I don't have more than enough but I have more than enough because God provides and I am safe in His hands.

Funny right.... mum, dad and brother. My beloved Family.

6.10.2007

ハダシの未来 barefooted future?

Haven't quite figure out the real meaning of this phrase yet, but it is one of my favorite songs by Arashi!!

Can everyone, even those we don't know Japanese just spare the time to hear it once? Very cute MTV and very catchy song! Anyway it was coca -cola's CM song in 2004 in Japan!

6.06.2007

Johnny Depp

Watched Gakkou e ikou last night on Tv and Johnny Depp made a special appearance...

He looks just normal or well queer at times with the deliberate( I chose to believe he did it deliberately) weird sense of fashion.

But my goodness, I can't believe how charming he actually is. His mannerisms, his choice of words, the occassional playful side of him...

Very witty and charming person.. I am enchanted ♪♪♪

6.05.2007

プロポーズ大作戦 The big proposal plan??


Thought of writing about this today...

A Japanese drama I have been catching recently.

Actually, I didn't plan to catch it at all because of the seemingly ridiculous plot, the main actress whom I don't like because she is always acting cute and the main actor whom I don't exactly think is super good-looking.... but it just kinda caught my eye as I was walking around the house (with the bad habit of leaving the TV on)... soon I found myself sitting down in front of the TV at 9pm every monday.


The plot: A young man rushing to attend the wedding of his childhood goodfriend whom he had always been to school with since 9. As he watches her walk down the virgin road,he instantly regrets not being able to tell her how he really feels about her in the 14 years they knew each other. As they are shown a photo presentation of the newly wed at the wedding reeption, he encounters a strange man who brings him to and fro to the past and present. Every episode shows him going back to a certain incident in the past. The rule is that he will only be there for a while and will be transported back everytime a final photo is taken. for eg, he goes back to a baseball game in the past he took part and he will only be there until their group photo is taken. (*they are in a clique consisting 2 girls and 3 guys and they take photos all the time)


For a start, he kept going back to find chances to correct the times he upsetted her. Their relationship was very much like that of 2 guys, he talks to her loudly, he shoves her around... the times they quarrelled becus small things...


Then comes along a guy who got closer to the girl through some school activities. That is when he goes back and tries to find chances to make his feelings known to her before the other guy can.However, he never suceeded in confessing his feelings for her. She too has actually always liked him. She wrote him a letter when they were 15 and has been waiting since for a chance to pass it to him but never finds the chance to do so.

On the day before her 20th birthday, she decided that it was time to call for a settlement for the issue and plans to hand him the letter. In a cruel twist of fate though, both of them waits for each other at different places. So in the end, she made the decision to move on into a new phase of life, leaving behind her feelings for him as well.


Hmm.... how should I put it... I don't think I am doing enough justice to the show with my poor explanation. In a nutshell, the guy goes back and trys to do a lot of things. He manages to turn some sad memories into wonderful ones for her, he even helped 2 of his friends get together where in the first future, the relationship was just a one-sided love. But no matter how hard he tries, he never manages to tell her he likes her.


This show just reminds me of the reality of life. I don't think anyone can say without a doubt that they have lived life so far with absolutely no regrets at all. Regrets come not just because of something we have done or not done but also how we think life might have become better if things was done that certain way.


Yet, this show re-affirms the fact that there is no such thing as 早知道。 Precisely, because we don't know what is ahead of us we need courage, need support from others, need the little faith in ourselves to try and most of all need to live on. Who can actually judge for sure that life will indeed be better if things were to happen in a certain way? At the end of the day no matter how much you cannot accept how present has turned out to be, or how you regretful you feel, it is impossible to turn back time to go back into the past to change anything.

The only thing you can possibly do is then is to move forward to either create a better future or make the best out of the situation. Or to repeat this vicous cycle of regret by letting opportunites slip through your hands again and again.

Don't know what the ending to this drama will be. But I don't think the girl will get together with this guy in the end anyway. It will be pretty silly if they do.


Another thought of the day too. If he really liked her, how come he didn't do anything when she was unmarried? Why must wait till she is in her wedding gown that he starts to regret...

Sigh... man?


Short clip of the drama...



昨日細木先生の番組「ズバリ言うわよ!」見ました。

いろんな理由で自殺のケースに対して、そうおしゃった。

「いじめに負けても、命を渡すまではない。
仕事のい負けても、命を渡すまでははい。
負けたら、どうすればいい?
生きることです。
死ぬことは罪じゃないけど
生きることをあきらめるのは大罪です。」

細木先生のことは別に大好きというわけではないけど、
今度はすごく賛成です。♪♪
いじめでも、仕事の失敗でも、負けたら、しかたないけど。
何で一番大切の命まで渡すの?
そうしたら、一生でも勝つのチャンスはないじゃないか。

命は自分だけのものという考え方は直してほしい。
だって命は一人のことじゃなくて、
家族や親戚など繋がっていますよ。

いくら苦しいでも最後まで頑張ってね!
自ら命を取るのはやめとけちゃいな!

Pre-summer splurge

New red bag...

New red sandals...

I am all ready for a RED summer!!
What is a red summer anyway.... I don't know...
Just find red so appropriate for summer.
With a nice yellow top!
Or make it I am just such a sucker for ribbons!!



6.04.2007

Recent revamp to room

Did some arrangements here and there... so here's my room recently... but I posted up for specially for someone very dear to me to see... =)
The room proper- rearranged


My comfy bed beside the big window, love rooms with big windows


The other favourite window! With nice flowers and clovers


The walk way...

Finally the kitchen!

6.03.2007

三日月の夜

この文書はいろんな意味で、読んで、
そしてわかってくれる人は何人かがいるかなと思った。。。
まあ、どうでもいいだけど。。。

最近、貯金の方法にはまっている♪♪
なんか、買いたいものがないっていうわけでもないけど、
私にはすごく悪いクセイがあるの。

あきっぽいは性格です(^^")

ものを買って、一日二日くらい、めっちゃテンションあがるけど
後はほとんども触らないくらい、どこかのおきっぱなし。
この間、買った2万円もした日本の星★や流星群が見られるやつも、
一晩だけ使った。
このような生活はさすがに、
この貧乏なOLの私にふさわしくない生活じゃん。
頻繁にいらないものを買うの趣味のやばさを考えると、
なんとかしなきゃと決意した♪♪

そもそも問題の元はだんだろう?
思ったけど、私は。。多分元々何に対しても興味を長く持ってないから。
っつか、私は趣味ないっす!

嵐に対しての情熱はいつ冷めるかな。。。

そういえば、ライブで大野くんを見たとき、ちょっと驚いた。
やっぱり、めっちゃちっちゃかったね。
どうみても165しかないじゃないの。
でも、彼の才能に真に感心もっている。

先週の「子供の晩御飯」で、大野くんは昔の”知り合い”の話した。
顔には突然不明の悲しさが現れた。
泣きそうだった=(
彼女のことを思い出したかな。。
ジャーニズも、芸能人も
やっぱ普通の私たちが想像できないの苦しいことあるかな
12年間も頑張ってきた大野くんの姿をみて、
なんとなく、励まされた♪♪

大野くんへ:一生ついて行くよ!★★

Our seats

Can't believe I forgot to mention how good our seats were at Tackey and Tsubasa's concert...

We were right in the centre and beside the centre walkway. Can see them lifesize when they are at the center stage.

Contrary to many beliefs that Tsubasa is less popular because he pales in comparison in looks to Tackey, he is not!!

Tsubasa is in fact the better dancer, better dresser and better speaker. In my opinion tho, he is more than a performer when compared to Tackey. Tackey is the better idol tho', more TV appearances, friendlier...

But put them together, you haveT&T, who is my room-mate's opinion is 最高! but well, I am still in Arashi's camp. Esp my dear Ohno Kun. Oh yes, I am waiting to get married to you too..

Finally!!!!!!!!!

It's up!!!
3 cheers to Softbank that I am posting entries from home now.

what should I do now? Go crazy posting pictures!

6.01.2007

Internet Connection Saga...

Hopefully this will be the last entry I write in the office cus the works for internet is scheduled to be up in my apartment this Sunday... so it should be connected lastest by Monday.

Anyway the story goes like this....

I was walking to the bank one day when I was approached by a staff from this internet co., let's call it K to apply for its internet services. K was having a massive campaign to attract new users . Actually, I was already intending to sign up for its services ( becus I kinda read up about it before) but I wanted to get to the bank first before doing it. I told the staff I will be back in 10 mins but he was so persistent insisting that it will take no more than 5 mins to fill up the form.. But of cus it took nearly 20 mins in the end. Well ok... And he explained that the whole process of application will take 3-4 weeks till internet is ready.

Ok... so I waited for about a week and I got a call from K. Says that becus I stay in a rented place, the process will take a little longer becus they need to seek permission from the owner first before carrying out the necessary works. Fair enough. Prior to this, I have already checked with the agency I rented my apartment from regarding internet and they have already got the permission from the owner. So all I had to do is to pass over the contact of the agency and they will convey the message to K, which I did.

Then came the first month. Strange, no response at all from K. Decided to call up to check. They told me due to the huge amount of applicants, they are still in the process of getting in touch with the owner of my apartment. They gave me the idea that they were still waiting for permission from the owner. But after making things clear with them, it turned out that, they are so busy with the applicants that my owner is still waiting in line to hear from them!

Then they called me up and said they need to check my apartment to see if it was possible to carry out the works.. So on one week, guy 1 came... look see look see and say he cannot determine, need to get guy 2 to come, which took yet another 2 weeks...

And everytime I walked pass their shops, see their massive road shows, shouting recruiters I can so pissed off. If they have so much time and resources to do that, they should then first divert these resources to their current customers! What is the meaning of cheating people into signing up for your plan and then leave them hanging in mid-air and then tell them because you are too busy, you cannot process their application fast.

So anyway, after the 2 I -don't know-what-is-it-for checks, I called K and told the person pretty calmly that I have waited more than a month. I used the "pitiful tone" hoping to gain sympathy and faster action instead of using the irritation threat on them. It kinda worked I guess.. Just confirms to me how much Japanese needs to be called to action. They called me back a few days later to say permission is given and also to confirm the day to carry out the works.

It was nearly another month later before I can finally fix in a day for them to come cus they dun work after 5 pm and I can only make it on weekends.

Then finally after 2 months. The day for THE day came. Was waiting with anticipation for them. Then it rained... rained heavily.

And I got a call from them saying that they cannot do the works becus it was raining. They needed to fix something outside the house so it wasn't possible becus of the thunder and lightning going on.

Fine. As much as how dissapointed i felt, I wasn't going to risk someone's life just for my internet connection. So I called up the customer service for re-scheduling. And can you believe it, they told me " oh the next available date is XX" which is a month away!!!

Isn't that ridiculous? I just quarrelled with the person right on the spot. C'mon loh wad do you mean by another month. I asked the person back fine, what if it rains again on that day? means I wait another month??

He couldn't answer me... He just kept apologising. I don't want your apologises.. i want a definite solution! I can't believe how inflexible their system is and how little they think to refine their services. Such a big co yet cannot even settle one customer properly.

In the end, I got so pissed that I told him right on the spot I want to cancel the contract... And he still had the cheek to ask me to send him back the modem that was sent to me previously. I should have told him to either come and take it back personally or not have it back at all. Why do I still have to take the trouble to go to post office to post it back to them??

Anyway, there was a separate person scheduled to come the next day to do PC setup ( why can't they do together anyway..) so I told the company that they better call the person themselves and K's cust svc was like yes yes they will do it.

Guess what, the next day, I got a call from the PC set-up guy at 1.30pm ( If he was coming, he wa supposed to come from 11-1pm) He said that he is in the vicinity now and can't find his way to my house.

Grabbing on to myself to prevent my blood veins from bursting... I told him calmy that the works was cancelled due to the rain, added sarcastically, " You mean your co. didn't inform you?" Can tell he was real flustered and he was like, " oh i will check with them...

Anyway the conclusion is, it did rain again on the supposedly rescheduled day. I wonder what will be their answer this time round. Another month????

Angry. Pissed. Irritated. Period
*credits to breaktaker.com where I took this picture from =)