10.01.2012

The Month is here....

We are now down to the last 3 months of the year... and it is also the month in which I have to tell my boss of my plan to quit.

I must admit I am having a little cold feet now... As much as I thought I wanted a new lease of life and a change of environment, I am also afraid that I will regret the decision to leave Japan and leave the things I enjoy doing here.
You see... as much as I miss Singapore, I know that ultimately I will go back and it is as near as just a flight away.
But Japan is so different.. the next time I miss my life in Japan, I can't just pack my suitcase and hop onto a plane back here.  Once I exit, I probably cannot come back so easily anymore.

But I tell myself though, the more I miss Japan, it is also an evidence to how much I have enjoyed my life here. So it is a blessing I am not dying to leave.

Anyway, over the weekend, I went for a 2D1N trip to a cottage house near the sea with some friends. It was really cool because we had the whole house which comes with a bar and DJ booth all to ourselves. So the whole group went for a drive/fun along the coastline and then had bbq till wee hours in the morning.

I am so glad I went for it despite being lazy and having second thoughts at first. It is also good to meet new ppl and also it was a great end to the summer!

9.24.2012

And 3/4 of the year is almost gone!

Ever since I got back from Taipei, the struggle to go to work expanded so dramatically that I felt I was really going to be so sick physically.
Seriously....can't recall a time in my life in which I dread going to work so badly...
And to make things worst, things between me and the person whom I really didn't want to meet ( as said in earlier post) finally exploded and I am quite sure as I am typing this, he has gone straight to my boss..
Thankfully, my boss is more on my side rather than his because he knows too that this colleague is not just a tough nut to crack but expects everyone to put him on No.1 on the priority list.
In fact, in a way it was good in retrospect that things exploded, because that gave me a good excuse not to have to hold meaningless meetings 1-to-1 with him anymore. So... one of my resolutions is actually fufilled!
No fear/need to meet people I feel uncomfortable or don't want to.

But... that doesn't make me look at my calendar less as I really want to have the days go pass quick. Want to finish the endless list of tasks, tie up the loose ends and then announce to boss my decision to leave...
Although I really feel guilty towards my boss who has always been very kind to me... I guess no amount of incentive will be great enough to hold me back now...

8.21.2012

Singaporeans love to complain?

When did this “culture” first came about? What was that happened or what was the catalyst that caused this? This was what I was thinking for a while over the weekend.

I was out with 3 other Singaporean friends when we decided to stop by a pastry shop specializing in cheese products. They sell cakes too and had a little backyard which we could eat our cakes right on the spot.
There were 4 of us but we decided to only get 2 cakes because the size was pretty huge.
We were given 2 paper cups on the tray for the free coffee the shop is giving out as a service.

Them (will be referred to T henceforth to represent all 3 or anyone of them)
Me (will be referred to M)

Scene 1:

T: How come there are only 2 cups on the tray?
M: That’s because we only order 2 cakes. Free coffee comes only with the purchase of the cakes.
T:?? ask for more le!
M: (tried to ask again but was politely rejected because the coffee is for people who purchased the cakes) Eh I tried le.. cannot
T: So Stingy!
M: (in a small voice) But it is free coffee in the first place...

Scene 2:
T: How come we got paper cups and not the nice porcelain ones ( points to the table beside)
M: Oh that’s because the shop didn’t have enough cups.
T:uh?? How come? So unfair....
M: Oh well… at least they are not charging the coffee, it is free service you see…

Scene 3:
T1: How should we share the coffee among 3? (Since Karen doesn’t drink coffee it is minus 1)
T2: Let’s just go get refill after this.
M: You can’t get refill, one person is entitled only to one cup.
T: What? Only 1 miserable cup?
M: It’s a service! It provided free!

Scene 4:
T: The coffee is almost tasteless… what you call long-kang coffee ( drain water coffee). Tastes cheap.
M: Well, it’s free and it is a service! With all the complaining they had to get, I think it might just be better to stop this service altogether cause all they get is bashing!

Last Scene
T: Hey you ( points to me), go and distract the shop-keeper and ask her lotsa qns while we hurry go get the refill for the coffee
M: =_=;; ( thinks to myself: Er do we have to stoop to that for the long-kang coffee that comes in a paper cup?)

Actually, it is just funny when I put this down in words… No hard feelings.. Just really amuse by how Singaporeans can complain and complain and then still continue their kiasuness…

8.17.2012

The most expensive dinner

At the insistent of a friend who is visiting, I actually took a bullet train of 1hr out of Tokyo after work yesterday to Tochigi prefecture for dinner.
It wasn't even really a dinner you call dinner... The main attraction was a Izakaya which has monkeys as its waitors.
Expect novelty but don't expect quality service. The wet towel was literally thrown into my hands.
and I came home with moneky scratches here and there on my arm.

But still it was fun to travel out of Tokyo with a good company! ( especially when the trip is all paid-for. hee)

8.07.2012

Guilty...

I have been feeling rather guilty these few days....

Yesterday I was having meeting with my boss and he expressed his pleasure over the passing of my recent exams. So now he hopes that I will take a internationally-recognised training course and exam for Helpdesk team-leaders. This course and exam will cost up to about 170,000yen person.

I can take it of course. but....if my boss knows I am going to leave end of year.. I wonder what he will say.
And.... I am really thinking if I should take.

Btw... today I was chosen as the "employee" of the month. Reasons was contribution to the team and also for having the 上進心 to take the exams. ( btw the exams also contributes to the overall level of the team and company)
But..... of course nobody really knows that wasn't my first intention...

So anyway, I tossed about in bed again last night thinking through these issues. I guess I can only make up to them by trying to finish a major project and not leaving behind the mess in my limted time here.

Gabarou!

8.06.2012

1/4 down!

I went one of my exams last weekend and I passed! This must be the toughest I had so far.
Usually I finish my exams pretty fast and with much confidence but this is one, I really had to check and think through my choice of the answer a couple of times, not forgetting praying many times along the way too!
So thank God, I managed to scrap past somehow. Results doesn't matter as long as it is a pass and which means more cash is coming my way! Yeah... I feel half sad that I am so driven only by monetary rewards.
But throwing my pride aside, the money is indeed a great help when I am expecting many guests this month.

Another why I am so fervent in taking the exam is also because as linked in a post earlier, it helps me to feel a sense of achievement and that I am actually moving forward.

Talking about having a sense of achievement, something just dawned upon me when I watched the Olympics. Somehow I begin to really respect not those who got a gold but those who ended up with no medals after years and years of hardwork. The medalists are rewarded with a medal, recognition of their achievements, fame, material goods... but how about those who ended up with nothing? They bear the possible shame, insult or jeer. But is it true these people didn't put in enough hardwork? They also put in many years of toil just in exchange for the few moments in Olympics...
Yet these people still continue to work hard and to move forward even when their efforts were not paid off immediately.

Ganbarou myself!

7.30.2012

Terrible Summer....

Last 2 days of July! Means Summer is also 1/3 over?


Nowadays, the weather in Japan is really bad and news of people getting heatstroke or even dying from heat stroke is all over the TV.
I don’t remember seeing so much or such news back in Singapore. Heatstroke is not really an issue we think about much (other than at Sport’s Day).
But imagine how serious the heat is when people suffer from heatstroke even at home.
Back in Singapore, we never had to blast the aircon in the living room unless perhaps if there are many guests.
A celling fan is usually sufficient to keep us all sane.

Last night I got a call from my friend who’s aircon broke down after she came back from a long vacation.
It was so bad that she had to go stay at someone else’s house after that because it was impossible to sleep…

I wonder….
Is it the way houses are constructed in Japan that causes heat to be trapped easily?
Is it the climate? The lack of natural shade from trees?
Whatever is it…. Drink more water!

Just spent sometime in the week and weekend for a friend who came over with her family. And my... I was so impressed by her son who is only 4 but can speak 3 languages already fluently! ( English, Japanese, Mandarin) and the most impressive thing is, he knows exactly who to speak to in which language!
Japanese grandparents father: Japanese
Mother: English
Grandparents in Singapore: Mandarin.
If you are wondering, I was grouped under English because I am his mum's friends. Hee that's how he does the association.

August will be a busy month for me though… expecting many guests and also plans to go travelling etc.
Better make sure I don’t get sick!

7.26.2012

IT Otaku

One of my colleagues sent me this as a way to express his gratitude for helping him in something today.
Haaaa, I had a good laugh.

But really... this is a really IT-excel-maniac joke. Probably won't have people who can appreciate it.


More reminders and more resolutions

A month and half ago when I was touring Seoul with Mei, I remember complaining so much to her how much I am dreading work and looking forward to getting the yr-end bonus so that I could quit immediately. Mei who is also probably quitting just kept telling me, "Karen, 4 months passes very fast, trust me."

She is right... although each day went past really slowly if you count by the hour, July is almost over. I have somehow pulled through a really very draining month.

In order to help myself move along to achieve what I have set to do before I leave, I wrote down a few "resolutions" in my notebook. And really, having them down in written form works wonders.
For the first time in my career here I finally said "NO" to my boss and thank God, he understood the situation.
But, that led to a unwanted meeting with someone I don't really wanna meet today. I guess I will get through it somehow.
Yah... maybe I should cancel part 2 about not wanting to meet people I feel uncomfortable with, namely pple whom I don't know well and only have a very surface relationship with.
Last night I kinda experienced that again when I was introduced to a whole bunch of people I am meeting for the first time by a visiting friend.. I was really shifting uncomfortably in my seat while explaining for the 10th time I have been in Japan for 8 years, studied in Okazaki, working in the IT line now and then listening to heaps of praises on my Japanese... A few times, I just caught myself staring at the floor blankly because I don't know where else to look....
Of course I didn't become friends with all 10 of them but at least among them I found 1 or 2 people whom I could geninuely chat with. In fact one of them mailed me last night so I think maybe I should revise my resolution to be open and build networks instead.

Ok so here's my very short-term resolutions.

1. Pass 4 of my IT exams and get the monetary award! Wooh!!! If I do as planned, I have 200k yen waiting for me! I am really trying my best now.. so for the time-being I have to say good-bye to Facebook which is one of my biggest distractions around.

2. Avoid unnecessary conflicts and emotions-uprises at work. Yes.... I think I am just going to take things in my stride as much as possible. Remind myself I have a bonus to work towards and work here now has a time-limit.

3. Stop buying unnecessary things. NO!! I cannot increase my luggage anymore!

4. Don't take leave unnecessary. Yes, I am going to hold on till end of year. I am so going to drag myself to work even when I don't feel up to it.

Ok... that's 20mins worktime gone.... Back to work!

7.20.2012

An addition to my resolutions.

I must getting myself into situations I don't want to.
Stop doing things I am not looking forward to ( especially when they are not beneficial at all)
Stop meeting people I don't feel good or comfortable with.

Life is too short to waste time on such things...
Life becomes even shorter if you don't learn to say NO at the appropriate things.

7.17.2012

Importance of Milestones...

Actually…I kinda gave up updating the blog sometime ago…because everytime I start to write something, I end up taking such a long time to complete it…

By the time I finally complete it, it has seems to lost its relevance or I just don’t feel it reflects what I am thinking/feeling anymore.

Another reason could be the lack of memorable events which qualifies the necessity to be penned down. In fact, I tossed and flipped in my bed for a good 30 mins ( or more) just thinking about this last night…

I was thinking of my life from as young as I could remember till the time I started work officially in Japan. I realized that there are many things I could remember and reminiscence about.

-The first uniform I put on as a preschooler
-My classmate from then whom I still keep in ( not close) contact till now….
-My teacher in kindergarten who has the same name as me….
-The first time I had a crush on the boy who sat beside me in Pri. 2
-First time something confessed he likes me in Pri. 4
-Boy-gazing at the most popular guy in school in Pri 6 ( prank-calling him together with my friend)

Then…
-Getting into NYGH and changing uniforms ( slightly…)
-Joining a really tough and time consuming ECA ( St John’s) and experiencing for the first time being scolded by neither my parents nor teachers
-Slept in tents and ate from mass tins from outdoor cooking
-Skipping Classes and resulted in being made to write confession letters
-Meeting some of the best friends I ever had in life

-Changing uniforms again in JC… ( had sleeves for once now)
-Experiencing the luxury of waking up later then my peers now for the first time because school was only 10 minutes’ walk away…
-Recalling how it was like having boys who are trying to turn into man in the same class after 4 years in the nunnery
-Going through many emotion rollercoasters while struggling to find my own identity and in the end found really good pals who were though going through the same path yet never hesitated to stretch out their hands.
-Experiencing what I say is the best school time of my life.

Uni….
-First time going to school uniform-less… ( could be a blessing or unfortunate thing depending on how you see it)
-First time away from home on a long-term regular basis to move into the hostel.
-Most relaxed time-table in my school life ever.
-Meeting and sharing unforgettable memories with someone. ( It is unforgettable but not something I think about everyday or want to hold on to)

Then it was studies in Japan and then the ultimate decision whether or not to stay in Japan….

So my point?

I felt that.. Up till the stage I took the courage to try to find work in Japan, my life was always filled with different milestones and events which I can identify to tell me clearly that I am moving forward in life and not stagnant. There was always some event ( spontaneously or not) and my life will always be slightly different after that, be it the graduation from a school and moving on the next phase in life.

But when I looked back at the past 6 years even since I started working in Tokyo, my memories was almost blank… I can recall fun times going out for meals/trips/hiking with friends… yet none of them actually tells me I am moving forward because I experienced zero change in my life.
Maybe that’s why there is this theory that when you are a kid you always feel that time passes very slowly and time passes faster and faster as you age.

I think that’s exactly what I am thinking about now.

Probably the only event that brought about a lifestyle change was when Carol left Japan and I started to shift the furniture around a bit….
And I gasped in horror to know that that was nearly 5 years ago….
Where and what had I done in between? Where did the second half of my precious twenties went to?

Then I realized…. Probably that is the “fate” of adults… There are people out there who never had a chance to pursue their dreams… let alone the chance to even venture out of Singapore.
There are also people who never had a chance to secure a job of their dreams but rather, a job of security to ensure there was always bread on the table.

But I know at this point in life, at the very last end of my twenties, I desperately need a change/ a milestone to ensure myself I was still moving forward not just physically but also mentally.

I don’t want to just age on the outside but remain the same internally.
That’s when I think.. maybe I won’t be satisfied with life even if I go back to Singapore….
I think I might just always feel like an alien inside me when I get pushed around by norms.

Ok.. so that was my thoughts when I was tossing about last night…

2.17.2012

Little amazing efforts

As you probably already know how little innovations just makes our lives a lot better. And I must say the Japanese are really good at such stuff!

I got the chocolate below from a senior at work on V-day. ( I suspected that she chose to brand to support her idol Jang Geun Suk...)


See how the chocolate is only half-wrapped with paper so as not to dirty your fingers but also to save cost and effort to unwrap it?


And strawberry syrup oozing out of it! Love it! It was really good!!

The bestest family ever~

I think I have said this only a million times but I really really love and adore and is also being so loved by my extended family~
Really from my biggest aunt to even my youngest nephew ( who was just borned on 2012/1/21!) I just feel soooo loved and blessed to have them as my family.

So anyway, really grateful to the sudden business trip which made it possible for me to meet them so soon!

So here's my darrlllinnngg nephew Elijah. He's not just his parents' little treasure. He is the little king of the hearts of the Huangs, the Gohs, the Loys, the Fengs, the Bohs!
Babies just have this uncanny ability to make all the funny expressions that makes you go ohhoo!



And the cake my cousin prepared. *touched* although since I was already leaving the next day, it became a farewell cake as well. But trust me, I will be back soon.


Anyway, the gathering was held at the HQ, also called niang-jia ( which is also my house!) cus that was the place my grandmother stayed with my father and my aunt ( her 2 youngest children) till she passed away. So my cousins, uncle and aunts comes to my place to reminisicence about the good old days as evident in the below... which also probably explains why my sentimental father refuses to move whosoever. He wants to remember his mother as well as to keep this place for his sisters and brother to come back to anytime.




There's my brother in the center! The 5 of us can counted as a "batch" since our ages are the closest and we played with each other most since young.


The yellow chair came in a pair but unfortunately my mum threw one away. But still, at least one is still around!


I really think my brother was super cute as a baby. If you are thinking where his big black mole had gone to, he had it removed operationally for health reasons.


The pair borned in the year of sheep and has the most photos taken together! I think they were just funny to tease so they have many funny pictures together!


Tada! That is my family!

2.16.2012

The little apple of my eye~

That's my first meeting with my godson, Dylan. I think I almost teared with happiness just being able to meet him so soon cus I wasn't due to be back in Singapore so fast.
SO some of my friends commented that I looked "godma-ly"... I don't know how they come to that conclusion but I take it as a compliment =) I am pleased that he didn't cry nor pee while in my arms. I hope that meant he was comfortable with me carrying him!


And he knows exactly where to look! At 7 weeks, he is the most charming and intelligent baby I have ever met! Ok... I admit that I have not met that many and I am biased..

Love love ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

The hawaii excitement

So the excitement worn off a little bit now cus it is now time to get down to the details and the preparation part.
Not to mention that my leave is not even officially approved. (My boss is afraid that there will be sudden projects and we will be short-handed) I was really pissed at that though. So does that mean I can never go on planned holidays even though it is my entitlement?? Telling you in advance means giving you time to make contingency plans!

So anyway, all I know now is we are going to spend 3 days in Maui and then another 3 in Honolulu. I have 3 things in my head now that I want to do, 1. Swim with wild dolphins. 2. Climb this mountain to see the stars ( it is part of an optional trip). 3. Shop at the outlet. (everyone tells me they have fabulous shopping!)

But all these things equals money so I really have to prepare myself and my bank account for a bleeding session soon.

That's until April for me now. I got so many people asking me to join them on trips that I really have to reject some! You know how much I love to go to Seoul and if going on leave on money wasn't a consideration at all, you will have me on all of them. But I definitely needa prioritise!

2.15.2012

hey there~

I am back from a long hiatus and also lack of ideas for an appropriate title.

Well well.. how has 2012 been so far for all?

I started mine with a small retreat and time to myself at a nice little hotel.
You might be thinking if I really need that since I was already staying by myself.
Er yes... I did...
I needed to get away from my house because each time I am in it, I just reminded of the chores I need to get done, corners I need to clean etc.... I think I have a slight Obessive impulsive disorder with cleaniness?!
To put it in simple terms, I can't simply ignore something that is put out of its usual place or some dirt on the floor. ( but hey, people often complain I don't wash plates clean enough!)
Whatever it is... I had a good time just curling up reading and not having to worry about anything else at home.

Recently I watched the Korean version of "Playful Kiss". It started off as a Japanese manga, became a drama and then there was the Taiwnese remake too.
I really hated the girl at first because she was like so in love with the guy and giving in to his every whim because she just like him too much to be irritated nor replused.
But she gradually grew onto me because I began to see that she is just being herself and trying her best because she really liked him. She didn't throw herself at him ( like many other girls tried to throw themselves literally at the guy). and even resisted the urge (actually a joke by the guy) to sleep with him because she know it wasn't right.
We always say that we should do our best and have no regrets after that. ( even if we fail) So I don't see why it shouldn't be the same for relationships.
Hurts and discouragements are really inevitable in life. So a healthy dose of courage and risk-taking. And thanks to her, I developed a new motto for the year!

ぼろぼろまで頑張ろう!
今年こそ、暴走しちゃうぞ!

Somehow... I feel that I express myself so much better in Japanese nowadays.
It means something like, I will push myself to my limits... This will be a year I will not hold back? (erm I can tell you in Japanese it just means something 10 times more agressive than that in English)

I don't kind of hold back on what I want to do or buy usually. But I want to do "bigger" things this year.. especially with the impending big 3. Each day is so precious! I just like the bimbotic idea of saying, I did this before I was 3X....

So one of the plans I had and is pushing through now is to visit Hawaii!!

Yes! I have finally stopped saying I want to.. and booked my trip there!
Here I come!

P/s: you usually don't get to know what I want to do until I am sure I can achieve it. hee... I don't love failures and I hate it even more when people ask me about it...